I love sending out e-newsletters, because I always end up getting replies and updates from clients whom I haven't seen for a while. Some send pregnancy updates, baby pictures, or just touch base to let me know how they have been. But I was deeply touched when so many people replied yesterday about my upcoming trip to Ethiopia to go get our second son (after a three-plus year wait!). It made me realize how fortunate I am to be surrounded and supported by so much love and understanding in my work and life. Nobody gets the crappiness that comes with a difficult family-building process (or the gratitude that follows when you finally have a child) as those who have been through it themselves. That's me. That's our clients. That's my tribe. And while I have an intellectual obsession with reproductive medicine that makes me good at my job, I think my personal experience of loss, uncertainty and coming up with patience I never knew I had gives me the ability to really sit with people in their own struggles. And to feel it. And to hold hope in my heart for them when I can see in their eyes that they have lost sight of it completely. And when the miracle finally happens (whatever that looks like), it's amazing to witness. Whether it's a baby, a letting go, a birth into authenticity, or a new life plan, out of the fire of deep pain, grief, and uncertainty, real transformation can unfold like magic, like alchemy.
I am honored to be part of what turns out to be a life-changing experience for so many people. And I realize how each little miracle has changed me as a person and given me hope in the face of my own family-building challenges. On my recent trip to Ethiopia (see above photo taken when I was about to meet my son for the first time-- that's not just joy but extreme shock and fear mixed with joy on my face) I had a personal experience with things unfolding as if the universe was on my side. As cynical and jaded as I have been in the past, I am experiencing the world in a totally fresh way now. I have started to trust in life. And life seems to unfold more effortlessly that way. Not always easily, but with a bit less resistance. And I have not only good fortune to thank for that perspective, but also the invisible web of love and understanding that lifts me up. I am grateful for so many people, for so many kind words, for so much help, for so much kindness. So happy. So blessed. Yay.